“I want to free fall in to faith!!”, my spirit would always cry out whilst in the Harvest School. Almost every time I had an encounter with the Lord, this would be the cry of my heart.
Since the beginning of 2012, my life has been just that. One big free fall in to faith. Sometimes I’ve been scared. But then I’ve been reminded, that sometimes faith looks like being scared and doing it anyway. Believing that God will match my weak yes, with a big fat seal of approval.
It has happened time and again, and each time it’s closer to the wire. Each time though, my faith expands.
Just last week, the Lord asked me, “Gillian, if I asked you to give all your money away today, would you trust me for tomorrow’s provision?” Answer: I hope so. It got me thinking though, that it’s not my money anyway. This week, I had to reach into the depths of that reality.
Whilst driving through Phnom Penh on a tuk tuk, I had my bag stolen. Two motorcyclists orchestrated a carefully planned move. They waited until I had turned around to tell my driver to stop, then crashed into our tuk tuk to shock us, and upon impact, one of them snatched my bag. My arm went with it, but they were too forceful and too quick. We yelled at our driver to go go go! But he slowed down instead. As I watched them drive off with my bag (and in it , the money I had withdrawn for the rest of my time here in Cambodia, my iphone, my passport, my Cambodian phone, and some other things) the shock began to set in. I was trying to hold back the tears but I just couldn’t. “God I need you right now.” That’s about all I could think.
I’ll not bore you with the details of what logisitics I had to go through to report the incident and get new documents. But I will mention this: I saw the kindness of the human heart displayed to me that afternoon. Jason came with me on every step of my journey, sacrificing his own plans on more than one occasion to make sure I was ok. A Cambodian Tuk Tuk driver acted as a witness and drove us around all afternoon. Within 30 minutes of having my bag stolen, a fellow team member handed me $100.
In the past couple of days, I haven’t had much time to think!! It’s been a bit of a shock and a blur. Yesterday all the team arrived, so the day was filled with airport runs, picking up money, moving house, in between a visit to the British Embassy to get a new passport.
I’d like to say I haven’t been scared this week. It would be a lie. However, I have on more than one occasion been faced with a choice. To worship, or not to worship. On Wednesday night, after it all happened, we had a prayer meeting. Jen on our team had been very sick (on 3 IV drips on Tuesday), Knoa had been sick, and my bag was stolen. We decided that our only option was worship. To me it’s my only hope. It was amazing. To sing of the goodness of God and to pray blessing upon those who stole my bag and my money, was amazing.
Today, in between helping the team settle, and collecting all their money, I’ve been diving in to worship. The song that is playing right now on my itunes is “I’m so forgetful, but you always remind me, you’re the only one who brings me peace.” Jesus is my only hope. If all I have and all I hold dear is taken from me, still I am going to worship the one who gives me peace. Each time I get so scared, my Abba blows my mind with His goodness.
So far, God has been replacing what has been stolen through others! I have to believe that He will give it all back!! If that’s not good enough, someone gave me a camera yesterday!! Did I have my camera stolen? No. Why? Because it got broken in Mozambique. I have been praying that God will give me a new one, and that is EXACTLY what He has done! In the midst of losing so much, God is still blessing me!
So if that isn’t enough reason to rejoice in all things, I don’t know what will be. Please pray that God will provide every penny that I need to get through the trip here in Cambodia, to cover my emergency passport, and visa etc. Thanks!
I’ll leave you with one of my favourite quotes from A.W. Tozer:
The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever.
Peace always,
Gillian
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